My idiot mother left ALL of my things outside. Expensive, limited edition clothes, my electronics, my old laptop, they were damaged in the rain.. That is just stuff, but who in their right mind would do this? It's f*cking cruel and just plain wrong.
I lost my consciousness on Sunday and I woke up in hospital. I was so scared, because I couldn't remember much. And before you ask, no, I haven't done any drugs or drank anything. I'm very ill and have been for 3 weeks now. I have no idea what's going on. I'm confused and I don't know what's happening. Is it dreamland or reality. I.. I'm lost. I'm torn between "I don't care about life and what will happen to me, might as well get in trouble go to prison or mental hospital" or "I can achieve great things and make my dad proud, because I still have some time left".
Shit, that same Sunday I was going to throw myself under a high speed train, but the engineers were working on the track and there were no trains. Maybe it was a sign.. I don't know.
Being positive is all I've got left now. I just have to get through whatever I'm going through and make my life better. I'm 1 step away from it.
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I really have to be grateful to my friends, they were the ones that were there for me, in my worst time of my life. I'm glad I didn't screw up those relationships yet, I was so close. I feel bad accepting help from people, because when you're broke, you can't really repay them, all you can do is be there for them and support them emotionally, I guess. :(
Oh, and I got a raise, because I work very hard, I don't want to brag (Well it looks like I am xD) but I've been just great, coming to work when I'm severely ill and covering for my boss, coz he drinks and forgets shit then blames it on me. I walked out of my job on friday because he was just shouting at me for no reason and I've just had enough, you know. He followed me for 300 meters as I walked to the train station and he was begging me to come back, but c'mon, why should I work so hard, when I'm doing far more work than him and I get paid peanuts. Not even minimum wage. I might as well for a bag of Pistachios. I he just gave up and he doesn't want to learn anything new about computers anymore. No one will use for anything any more. I stood up for myself and it felt GREAT and it looks like this month will be very good for me ;)
I'm back to work now, it's all good and he's trying not to bitch about anything or moan. I told him to stop, because it is annoying and it drove me mad that day. I mean, if you don't like something, change it or don't do it. Why make life hard for yourself?
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT AND STOP COMPLAINING :)
Rant over ;)
I dedicate this song to a NEW DAY, because that is today :)
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