It's starting again. I am scared.

But I am hopeful that everything will work out just fine. That time has come again, the darkness has  once again returned. This time, maybe, just maybe it will last few days, not months. I'm either pissed off or sad, coz my friend told me to leave the house on Thursday (Usually I have to leave on Friday, because her boyfriend hates me and I just want a calm life and avoid confrontations, accusations and stupid questions). The arrangement with her was that I stay at hers 5 days a week (Monday to Friday), but on Wednesday she turned around and said that her boyfriend is coming on Thursday, the next day. I pay her rent as well. It isn't fair really. I don't know what I'm supposed to think. It's not my house and I should be grateful anyway for letting me stay with her. Man, it's so fun to be homeless. Best thing ever. At least I have something to write about.
It's so hard to be happy. I feel.. Nothing, just nothing. I just exist, I don't feel. There's nothing to look forward to. Except SEL concert in July. That's one of the things in my bucket list :)
Right now I'm just thinking if I should go back to Lithuania and just start over, study.
Decisions, decisions...