I think I've identified the point where my life was starting to go in a wrong direction, I think it happened at some point in October 2009.
Now, it wasn't all bad, actually I've had some of the best times in my life, found new people and connections, even friends and shit loads of enemies. But my god, I was actually dragged into hell at the same time. Wow, come to think of it so much time has passed. Nearly 5 years! It's scary how time goes by quicker and quicker.
Sometimes memories from those times visit me, they comfort me, but there's a reason why they're called the past. Or, would I rather keep them?
Would I go back to the past? Well, certainly. I would've made things better, I guess.
But at the end, you just never know how things would play out, it's like playing the Russian roulette.
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Right now, I've dug myself out of a financial hole. It feels good. But, I know and I feel that I'm just waisting my time. With everything, really. I have no direction. There's very little that I live for. It's just the uncertainty that kills me. I am craving something, yet I just can't tell what. I am so confused :/
I've been doing a lot of partying and just being bad in general. Bad for myself. I just don't know what's going on. I guess you can call it an escape. How long will it last?
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