I had so many plans that have failed tonight. It was supposed to be special. This last day was meant to be the best. I guess I lost myself again and I don't know who I am or who I want to be. Maybe it just shows that I'm still a shit person. Oh well.
It's 2am. I had a very good time celebrating my LAST day, I met an amazing girl, I will see her next week.
Even though, she was a stranger, she was just lovely. Gave me good advice, comforted me, i think she made me happy, i think i remember smiling for a bit, coz real human kindness, I have faith in this world :) there was that guy as well. Charming etc hehe. I'm not sad and the night ended on a good note. Met nice strangers. They were just lovely. I think they've made my day. There was a black guy that was talking shit and I couldn't understand him no matter what hehe xD
And there was some one who, opened up to me and told me their deepest secrets. The ones he doesn't even share with his friends.. Being in a closet sucks hehe. But, oh well.
You want people thinking you're this and that, why hide? What is the point? If you're not honest you will never be happy.
The past 3 months were real. I had THAT FEELING, felt good to be alive, felt like I've got a purpose, wanted to just live and be good.
Feels like I have nothing anymore.
I've received bad news from some one.
Erm, it's tricky, but I know what I've got to do. It's finally the time, and I think I'm ready.
But... Fuck you. That's all. go get fucked and be fucking happy.
New Agne. I hope you will still be here tomorrow. I will need you for sure. Just remember and be who you are. Now that I have no hope and nothing to look forward to, I can just..
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